


A Gift

by caradoxing (saunteredvaguelydownward)



Series: Dassana Mahariel [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: das is supposed to be my lighthearted character why do i always write her having Feelings?????, it's not really a ship fic but they end up becoming gfs later so?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:43:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7919224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saunteredvaguelydownward/pseuds/caradoxing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dassana has a small gift for Leliana and bigger feelings than she thought. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gift

Dassana turned the ring over in her palm again. The small etched carving of foxes and hares chasing each other in an endless loop had always provided her solace and stability in situations where she sometimes felt like one or the other. But now it was the cause of her uncommon nervousness rather than her aid. _Be still, rabbit heart_ , she begged inwardly.

Much to her frustration, her heart did not seem to listen.

She shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other for the hundredth time. This sort of restless energy which plagued her at moments like this were the worst. She wanted to run away or fight some darkspawn or perhaps just scream very, very loudly. Anything but standing around.

Across the campfire, she watched the flap of one of the tents open slowly. In the flickering of the firelight, Leliana looked a woman who inspired a thousand songs. _Creators_ , she thought, _she’s so beautiful even when she’s worried. It’s not right._

A deep frown pulled at Leliana’s lips. “Earlier, you said you needed to talk. Is something wrong?”

Just as she tried to breathe deep, all the air seemed to desert Dassana’s lungs. “No!” she said too quickly. “No. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

As she watched a crease form in Leliana’s brow, she gave a small reassuring smile before dropping her gaze back to the ring in her hand.

“I just… I have something for you,” she continued. Suddenly, the gift she held felt like it needed to be as far away from her as possible. With an awkward movement, she shoved her hand towards her friend. She felt like a child, like when they were young and she had brought Merrill flowers from the forest for the first time. “Here,” she gave a terse nod.

In the time it took Leliana to walk to her, it felt like her whole body was in agony. Fear and uncertainty were hardly absent in her life, especially now, but this was something new. She could feel it spreading throughout her body as if it were a poison in her veins. _What if she doesn’t understand?_ gave way to a worse thought. _What if she does? What if she does and she doesn’t want it?_

As if she could read her mind – no doubt her apprehension radiated off of her – Leliana’s concern seemed to grow before turning into outright confusion. Leliana lifted the ring gingerly, like she knew it was something important, with the slightest brush of her fingertips against Dassana’s palm.

_Fen’Harel take me now._

There was a long silence between them. _Oh. Right._

“It’s a Keeper’s Ring.” She knew that was an insufficient explanation, but the words seemed to evade her. “I… I left a lot behind, when I became a Warden. I didn’t want to, but I had no choice.” Something twisted deep in her chest. The words kept coming anyway. “I lost everything. Everyone. My _family._ ” The word cracked on her tongue. “The Wardens took that from me and I wanted nothing more than to be bitter. To be bitter and left alone. For the taint to take me so at least I could see _someone_ I cared about again.”

The weight of her own words almost knocked her off her feet. _Did I know this before? Did I really know how much I wanted to just lay down and die?_ It felt like she had been kneed in the stomach.

“And then you,” she whispered, letting go of a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “ _You_ walked into my life and didn’t give me the choice.” Hurt flickered clearly across Leliana’s face. “You just barged right in with all your… _light_ and I didn’t want it! You always seemed so happy and I hated you for it. And then… you made me love you for it. Creators, I do love you for it.”

“Fenhedis. I’m sorry. This wasn’t how I wanted this to go. I just… I lost my clan. My family. And I thought that was it. I didn’t want to hope because it hurt too much. But now I have a family again…” Dassana couldn’t bear to look at Leliana any longer, with her warm, kind eyes. “Now I have you.” She paused. “It’s supposed to keep you safe. The ring I mean. I want you safe.”

She couldn’t say how long she sat there, consciously pulling air in and out of her lungs, avoiding Leliana’s gaze. Next thing she knew, Leliana was there in front of her where she couldn’t be ignored. “I love it. It’s perfect.” Something about the gentleness of her voice broke Dassana’s heart. “I’m happy to have a family now too.”

They both sat down against the hard ground. It certainly didn’t seem right to leave, and it was hardly as if she could sleep now. She thought of Morrigan, who would no doubt tell her that hope was for children and fools. _You’re wrong. **I** was wrong too_.

Dassana looked over to see Leliana’s brow wrinkle once more in confusion and this time she was confused too. “Is it right for me to have this?” Leliana asked. “I’m not Dalish, let alone a Keeper.”

A bright laughter bubbled in her chest, cutting through her dark mood. “Oh, I think you’re a keeper alright,” Dassana replied, resting her head against Leliana’s shoulder.


End file.
